I'll be Missing You
by Emily Hoyt
Summary: COMPLETE: What happened? How did he get over it? How was he able to confront it head on and continue with it? This is his story.


A/N: I own no rights to any Harry Potter content.

This is short. It's written to move. I hope it moves you. May this song be a light for you in the darkest corners of the Earth, as it has been for me after troubling days of trials and tests.

He sat in the corner, crying and mourning. He sat reflecting and numbing his pain on pint after pint of Firewhiskey. Yet, no matter how much he drank, his sorrow was too deep for words. The world seemed to be passing in such a haze that nothing seemed to matter anymore. Life seemed to have lost a purpose. Everything he held dear was vanishing. He was slowly losing what was left of his mind. After all he had been through, he was surprised he still had anything left to lose. His life was as blank as a canvas. He hadn't a masterpiece to his name for as far back as he could ever remember. And from the looks of it, he wasn't about to paint one.

The house was very quiet. Everyone knew of his misery and intended on leaving him to wallow in misery for a while. While not healthy, they knew that the pain was still far too near. So, he sat at the kitchen table, crying more and more. The radio somehow turned on by itself. It aggravated him immensely.

"Bloody piece of shit must have short circuited," he said to himself. He looked up as it began to tune itself as well. "What in the bloody hell is going on? Who's doing that?" he wondered aloud, something he seemed to be doing a lot of lately.

_Seems like yesterday we used to rock the show_

_I laced the track, you locked the flow_

"My lot in life is to be made to suffer, isn't it?" he asked the stationary furniture. He had begun to lose what remained of his mind. _"We almost did used to rock the show. I would start or set up the entertainment and you'd keep it going, wouldn't you?"_ he continued to wonder.

_So far from hangin' on the block for dough_

_Notorious they got to know that_

"Those times really do seem so far away. I can't believe it happened so fast. Just too fast," he continued to ponder.

_Life ain't always what it seems to be_

_Words can't express what you mean to me!_

"Life really isn't perfect. I had always thought that my life would be more than this. Words really aren't enough to describe what you've done for me. I feel so empty without you. How could you be so fool hardy? How could you leave me?" he gasped as he began to cry again.

_Even though you gone we still a team_

_Thru your family I'll fulfill your dreams_

"We'll always be one, friend. I will never consider myself a solo act. You're always with me. But, I can't even show it through family. I have no real family anymore," he explained to the air surrounding him.

_In the future can't wait to see_

_If you open up the gates for me_

"I wonder...Will you be the one to open up the white gates for me? Will my family be there with you? Will I ever see you again?" he asked, half daring to hope he would get an answer.

_Reminisce sometime the night they took my friendTry to black it out, but it plays again_

"I'll never forget that night, or was it day? I can't remember it passed in such a haze that it escapes me. I can't forget it. It plagues my dreams. I awake every night in a cold sweat from dreaming of it again and again," he complained. _"How I wish you were here now. I need you so badly!"_

_When it's real feelings hard to conceal_

_Can't imagine all the pain I feel_

"I can't keep hiding and I know that. But do you know how hard it is to lose someone you love that you consider so close? My heart is ripping me to pieces. I can't believe this pain!!!" he cried, not only in voice but in tears.

_Give anything to hear half your breath_

_I know you're still livin' your life after death_

"What I wouldn't give to have a proper good-bye? Anything! Then again, I wouldn't want to ever have a good-bye," he admitted to no one in particular.

_Every step I take. Every move I make._

_Every single day. Every time I pray._

_I'll be missing you._

_Thinking of the day when you went away._

_What a life to take? What a bond to break?_

_I'll be missing you._

"I will never forget you, old friend. I can't forget you. You can never imagine what you meant to me," he sighed.

_It's kinda hard with you not around_

_Know you in heaven smiling down_

"It's not kinda hard. It's the worse feeling. Emptiness. Sorrow. The feeling of being the most alone person in the world. It's positively horrible," he said quietly as he began to listen, unable to talk until he stopped his crying again.

_Watching us while we pray for you_

_Every day we pray for you_

_Till the day we meet again_

_In my heart is where I keep you friend_

_Memories give me the strength I need to proceed_

_Strength I need to believe_

_My thoughts, Big, I just can't define_

_Wish I could turn back the hands of time_

"Oh my, God! You have no idea what I would give to turn back the hands of time. I would go back and I'd be more conscientious of my stupidity! I would make one single change and it would alter everything!" he cried in total pain and exasperation.

_Us and the six shop for new clothes and kicks_

_You and me takin' flics_

_Makin' hits, stages they receive you on_

_Still can't believe you're gone_

"It just doesn't seem real. I just can't believe it. It's too painful for words. We used to be so close. Now, we're worlds apart," he continued to sob as his thoughts became more into the song on the radio.

_Give anything to hear half your breath_

_I know you're still livin' your life after death_

_Every step I take. Every more I make._

_Every single day. Every time I pray._

_I'll be missing you._

_Thinking of the day when you went away._

_What a life to take? What a bond to break?_

_I'll be missing you._

_Somebody tell me why..._

"You've no idea how badly I want to see you again. I miss you so bad right now. Bloody hell. It's killing me from the inside out, this pain," he whimpered to whoever happened to be listening, although no one was around.

_One black morning_

_When this life is over_

_I know I'll see your face._

_Every night I pray_

_Every step I take_

_Every move I make_

_Every single day_

_Every night I pray_

_Every step I take_

_Every move I make_

_Every single day_

_Every night I pray_

_Every step I take_

_Every move I make_

_Every single day_

_Every night I pray_

_Every step I take_

_Every move I make_

_Every single day_

_Every step I take. Every move I make._

_Every single day. Every time I pray._

_I'll be missing you. _

_Thinking of the day when you went away._

_What a life to take? What a bond to break?_

_I'll be missing you._

"I can't stay like this. I'm not pathetic. I'm not alone either. I still have others left who do care somewhat about me. I need to go on. I need to move on," he whispered. 

_Every night I pray_

_Every step I take_

_Every move I make_

_Every single day _

_Every step I take. Every move I make._

_Every single day. Every time I pray._

_I'll be missing you. _

_Thinking of the day when you went away._

_What a life to take? What a bond to break?_

_I'll be missing you_

_. _"I have to move on." His voice was steadily growing stronger. "I will avenge you. And, I'm not going to give him a chance. You shall be avenged." 

_Every night I pray_

_Every step I take_

_Every move I make_

_Every single day _

_Every step I take. Every move I make._

_Every single day. Every time I pray._

_I'll be missing you. _

_Thinking of the day when you went away_

_._

_What a life to take? What a bond to break?_

_I'll be missing you._ _ We miss you_

"I swear by all that is good and pure and left in this world, YOU WILL BE AVENGED!!!" He screamed at the top of his lungs almost battle cry-like. He was out for blood to avenge that lost.

***************************************************************************

As he collected himself and thought of ways to kill him, Harry rose from his chair and Sirius' picture to prepare for the biggest battle of his life against the purest evil who had managed to take all away from Harry except that which he sought to; his spirit.

***************************************************************************

Song: "I'll be Missing You" by Puff Daddy.

_Yeah, this right here goes out to everyone_

_that has lost someone or that truly loved..._

_Check it out.... _

_Seems like yesterday we used to rock the show_

_I laced the track, you locked the flow_

_So far from hangin' on the block for dough_

_Notorius they got to know that_

_Life ain't always what it seem to be_

_Words can't express what you mean to me!_

_Even though you're gone we still a team_

_Thru your family I'll fulfill your dreams_

_In the future can't wait to see if you'll_

_Open up the gates for me_

_Reminisce sometime the night they took my friend_

_Try to black it out, but it plays again_

_When it's real feelings hard to conceal_

_Can't imagine all the pain I feel_

_Give anything to hear half your breath_

_I know you still livin' your life after death _

_CHORUS:_

_Every step I take. Every move I make. _

_Every single day. Every time I pray._

_I'll be missing you _

_Thinking of the day when you went away_

_What a life to take What a bond to break_

_I'll be missing you_

_(We miss you, Big....)_

_It's kinda hard wit you not around_

_Know you in Heaven smilin' down_

_Watching us while we pray for you_

_Everyday we pray for you_

_Till the day we meet again_

_In my heart is where I keep you friend_

_Memories give me the strength I need to proceed_

_Strength I need to believe_

_My thoughts, Big, I just can't define_

_Wish I could turn back the hands of time_

_Us and the six shop for new clothes and kicks_

_You and me takin' flics_

_Makin' hits, stages they receive you on_

_Still can't believe you're gone_

_Give anything to hear half your breath_

_I know you still livin' your life after death _

_CHORUS _

_Somebody tell me why... _

_One black morning_

_When this life is over_

_I know, I'll see your face _

_Every night I pray_

_Every step I take_

_Every move I make_

_Every single day_

_Every night I pray_

_Every step I take_

_Every move I make_

_Every single day_

_Every night I pray_

_Every step I take_

_Every move I make_

_Every single day_

_Every night I pray_

_Every step I take_

_Every move I make_

_Every single day _

_Chorus _

_Every night I pray_

_Every step I take_

_Every move I make_

_Every single day _

_Chorus _

_Every night I pray_

_Every step I take_

_Every move I make_

_Every single day _


End file.
